I have always been taller than average.I hated it partly because no one in my immediate family was tall, and because when i was in school it seemed that's all anybody every commented about me. Kids where very mean to me calling me every tall nickname that they could think of. Well one particular day after Sunday mass my cousin makes a comment about my height. I always tried to hide how much I hated the height comments. I cant remember what the comment he made was to be honest but the fact that it was made by a family member just really was more than i could handle. i broke down crying.
I had asked my mom before why i was so much taller than everybody my age. Her reply was that my grandmother (her mom) was a very tall women and i was the only one in the whole entire family (cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers,)that had taken after her. It was left at that.
Well this Sunday when we got home from mass she took me to my room and said i want to tell you a story. Till this day i can not understand why she would think that a 10 year old would be able to cope with what she told me.Then again that is the type of person my mom is. She speaks with out thinking about the way it will make others feel. I think i took after her in that lol. I'd like to think that when she told me this she had good intentions.
"The man you have grown up thinking is your father is not." i knew that my mom and the man that till that point i thought was my dad had separated before i was born. But i never really stoped to think about why it was that i was conceived after they split up. I think at that time kids wherent as smart about those type of things as now lol. She went on to tell me that after she and my dad "Juan" separated she and all her kids went to live with her parents. It's a known fact that my grandfather was not an easy person to live with but that will be saved for another Chapter. After a few months my grandpa got tired of having a house full of kids and told her she had to move out. My mom says she had run out of money so she went and got a job as a waitress, in a high end neighborhood. There she met a man that she thought was very attractive. After a while they started dating secretly because my grandfather would never accept it. Ignacio or Nacho as he was called by his friends would take her to nice restaurants buy her expensive gifts and of course to nice hotels. She says that all the gifts he would give her she would later return for money to feed her kids. When she found out she was pregnant she freaked out. She already had to many kids and no husband. Nacho was just a friend with benefits. When he found out he told her that he was happy and that he loved her. He proposed to her. My mom was afraid of what her family would think and do when they found out. Before she told him about the pregnancy she tried to abort the pregnancy. Mom says she took pills, drank teas, punched her belly, took hot baths. Anything she had heard had worked for other women.In Mexico abortions are illigal. When she did finally tell him she says he was very happy and asked her to marry him. She rejected him and told him she was going to come to the states to have an abortion.
She left her 5 kids with her parents and made the common trip across the border. by the time she was here she was 6 months pregnant. Im not sure if she ever really told me why she never went through with it.
After she told me all that she said that the reason she had told me all that was that this was the reason why i was so tall. She said Nacho was the son of an afro-cuban mother and a jewish man. That i looked just like my father and that there was nothing wrong with me. To be honest i felt even worse and from that day forward always felt that my mother didnt love me. She said i dont know why you wouldnt die but there must be a reason why your here.